5 New Year Tips Just For Dad | IDENTIGENE

Dad, Make Every Day Fathers Day: 5 New Year Tips Just for You

by HOMEDNA on 12/27/2017

Dad, did you take the time to do a little self-assessment as the old year rolled over into the new year? Most of us do. You make have asked yourself:

  • Am I closer to my child now than I was at the beginning of the year?
  • Do I have a positive impact on my children’s lives?
  • Did I make a conscious effort to improve those relationships?

If your answer is ‘no’ to any of these questions, don’t be too hard on yourself . . . as parents we all have room for improvement. The good news is, you can make small changes anytime that can have a big impact. They’ll help you be a better dad and foster a closer relationship with your child. And as parents, isn’t that what we all want?  Here are our 5 favorite New Year tips for dad.

#1 New Year Tip for Dad: Respect their Mom-Even if it’s Hard

 For most kids, Mom is the center of their universe, even when Dad is also in the home. The strong bond between a child and their mother is amazing. Psychologist Charles Smith says ‘While parents’ roles can be reversed, mom is the primary source for comfort and care’ (Tammen). Children are fiercely loyal to their moms and will defend her against those who treat her badly. If you don’t live with your child’s mother and have a strained relationship, resist the urge to badmouth her. Just don’t do it. Showing respect for the mother elevates you in your child’s eyes and helps build trust. When children see their parents respecting each other, they are more likely to feel they are also accepted and loved (Sanders).

#2 New Year Tip for Dad: Be First by Putting Yourself Second

Although this may seem like a contradiction, it really isn’t. You will be #1 in your child’s eyes if you consistently put your own needs and wants second. How does this concept look in real life? It means simply making time for them, even if you want (could, should, wish) to be doing something else. Loving your children means sacrificing for them. It may mean fewer poker games, fewer hours at work, or going to their pee-wee football game when you’d rather be watching college games on TV. Children spell ‘love’: T-I-M-E (Sanders).

#3 New Year Tip for Dad: Walk the Walk and Talk the Talk

It is often said that children will do as you do and not as you say. Hypocrisy is particularly offensive to kids, and they can smell it a mile away. So take a good, hard look at the spoken and unspoken messages you’re sending to your child. If you want them to grow up to be honest and hardworking, are you giving them an example to follow? Kids are constantly hearing unhealthy messages from rappers, celebrities, and pop culture in general. But your voice is the one that should be in their ears the most. Dad, you can have way more influence over how your kids turn out than you give yourself credit for.

#4 New Year Tip for Dad: Say ‘No’ More Often

One of the hardest words a dad can ever tell a child is ‘no,’ especially if you aren’t a primary custodial parent. The temptation is to spoil them and give them everything they want or that you never had when you were a kid. You can’t buy your way into your child’s heart…what they want from you is their time and your full attention-both of which are absolutely free!

 #5 New Year Tip for Dad: Be Good to Yourself too

To be an influence for good in your child’s life, it’s important to take care of your own health. It’s hard to romp around with young children when you’re extremely overweight or chronically sick from stress, poor nutrition, lack of exercise, or drug use. Even grown-up children need sound advice from their father and don’t forget-you want to be around to enjoy the fun of having grandkids to play with! Taking good care of yourself is a signal to your kids that you love them.

The Bottom Line

Every day can be Fathers Day! As a home paternity test company, we respect and value dads who work hard each and every day to do right by their families and be the best parents they can. If you have a paternity question about one or more of your children, one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself in the New Year is peace of mind through DNA testing. It can strengthen your family and help you build relationships to last a lifetime.

Do you have more tips for dads? Share in the comments!

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 Resources

 Sanders, Ryan. “10 Ways To Be a Better Dad.” 10 Ways To Be a Better Dad. National Fatherhood Initiative, 2 July 2014. Web. 07 Jan. 2016. <http://www.fatherhood.org/fatherhood/10-ways-to-be-a-better-dad>.

 Tammen, Greg. “Kansas State University.” A Powerful Connection: Mother-child Bond Plays Role in Child’s Growth, Development. Kansas State University, 6 May 2011. Web. 07 Jan. 2016. <http://www.k-state.edu/media/newsreleases/may11/motherchild50611.html>.

 Taylor, Jim, PhD. “Parenting: 8 Tips for Dads.” Psychology Today. Sussex Publishers, LLC., 16 Dec. 2010. Web. 07 Jan. 2016. <http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-power-prime/201012/parenting-8-tips-dads>.

Fathers Day: 3 Critical Gifts an Involved Dad Gives his Child

Every Day is Father’s Day: 3 Critical Gifts an Involved Dad Gives his Child

by HOMEDNA on 06/06/2016

So where is dad on this Father’s Day, and does he still matter? According to the latest data from the U.S. Census Bureau, there are 12 million single parent families in America, 80% of which are headed by single moms. Other data from the Child Trends Data Bank shows that 4 out of 10 children are born to single moms.

Although these moms do the very best they can to raise children who are healthy both in body and spirit, statistics for children growing up in father-absent homes are sobering. Here are just a few, as researched and compiled by the National Fatherhood Initiative®:

A child growing up without a dad is:

  • Four times more likely to live in poverty.
  • More likely to suffer behavioral problems.
  • More likely to go to prison.
  • More likely to become pregnant as a teen.
  • Two times more likely to drop out of high school.

Dad does matter, and Fathers Day is a great time to remember just how important a good one is in the life of his child, whether he is still with the mother or not. Fathers Day is a time for giving gifts to dad, but an involved dad who is an influence for good is really the one giving gifts to his child, every day and all year long. Here are 3 that we think are critical.

Number_one

Emotional Security

Even from birth, children who have an involved father are more likely to be emotionally secure, be confident to explore their surroundings, and, as they grow older, have better social connections. Having an involved dad gives a child confidence, and playing with their dad (in the fun-and-tumble way only a father can play with a child) helps a small child learn how to regulate their own feelings and behavior (Oliker). Common sense tells us that it warms a child to know their dad cares for them and wants to be in their life.    

Better Physical Health

Psychologists have noted that kids with a dad in their lives are much less likely to complain of largely psychosomatic health symptoms such as headaches, stomach aches, and miscellaneous aches and pains (Kruk). This leads to less absenteeism from school and the prospects for a better future. In addition, when a child knows who their father is, they also know their family health history and what types of illnesses they may be susceptible to. A child with an involved father is less likely to be obese or get involved with drugs and alcohol (National Fatherhood Initiative).

Number-Three

A Complete Sense of Self

We all need a ‘tribe,’ whether it be coworkers, friends, family, or all of the above. As human beings, we want to be around and belong to a group that we can identify with. Family is a child’s first tribe. According to The Father Code, a support website for dads, father absence in many ways steals our birthright; it takes from us our inherent and natural internal structures. In other words, not having a dad present in the life of a child deprives the child of 50% of their first tribe . . . aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents from their father’s side of the family.

The Bottom Line

As a top Paternity Test lab performing thousands of DNA tests a month, we hear stories from our customers every day. They want to find out who the biological father of a child is-not just for legal reasons such as custody-but because at a deep-down, visceral level most of us understand how important that paternal connection is and how it affects the life of a child now and for the rest of their life.

GET A HOME PATERNITY TEST KIT

Follow us on Facebook and Twitter! If you have questions about paternity tests or other DNA testing services, please contact our  Client Support Center at 888-404-4363, Mon-Fri  from 9 AM to 6 PM Eastern Time. Our friendly, expert representatives are ready and happy to help. Get answers anytime by visiting our Help Center. 

Sources

“Births to Unmarried Women.” Child Trends. Child Trends, 14 Dec. 2015. Web. 01 June 2016. <http://www.childtrends.org/?indicators=births-to-unmarried-women>.

 “Families and Living Arrangements.” Family Groups (FG Table Series). U.S. Census Bureau, 2015. Web. 01 June 2016. <http://www.census.gov/hhes/families/data/cps2014FG.html>.

 Kruk, Edward, Ph.D. “Father Absence, Father Deficit, Father Hunger.”Psychology Today. Psychology Today, 23 May 2012. Web. 01 June 2016. <http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/co-parenting-after-divorce/201205/father-absence-father-deficit-father-hunger>.

 Oliker, Ditta M., Ph.D. “The Importance of Fathers.” Psychology Today. Psychology Today, 23 June 2011. Web. 01 June 2016. <http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-long-reach-childhood/201106/the-importance-fathers>.

 Sanders, Ryan. “The Father Absence Crisis in America [Infographic].” The Father Absence Crisis in America [Infographic]. National Fatherhood Initiative, 12 Nov. 2013. Web. 01 June 2016. <http://www.fatherhood.org/The-Father-Absence-Crisis-in-America>.

 Thurston, Robert.”The 9 Devastating Effects Of The Absent Father.” The Father Code. Martin Marketing, 24 June 2015. Web. 01 June 2016. <http://thefathercode.com/the-9-devastating-effects-of-the-absent-father/>.

 

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